She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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