I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
