Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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