Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
