It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Never let your siblings swipe right.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
