Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
