doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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