I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
