I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
