we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
