you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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