i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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