This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
