A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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