Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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