Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
