Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I won the penis lottery.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
