the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
