Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize