I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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