a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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