Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
