last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
