That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
