I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
