I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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