Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
