wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
