I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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