I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
