dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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