I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
