Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My cat gives me a boner
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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