Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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