I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
