They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
