he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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