She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
