ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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