Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
