I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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