K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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