are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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