Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
nutella sex= disaster
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
