I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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