Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
