she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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