As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
