mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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