I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
