i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
