we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
