yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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