Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
