That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
