Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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