know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
