i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
