okay pat passed out under dana's car
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
