just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
