So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
