They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
