By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
