The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
