I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
So. Much. Porn.
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