I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
