Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
