remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
