My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My dick has a subreddit
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
