he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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