return my video game
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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