ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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