so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
