I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
