his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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